If there is one thing Mom said as she got older, it was, “Whatever happens, don’t ever put me in a nursing home!” But as the years have gone by — and Mom’s health has continued to deteriorate — you feel as though you cannot keep up with the increasing demands of caring for her. The guilt is unbearable. What can you do?
First of all, what you should not do is what you’ve been doing all along: taking on more caregiving responsibilities at the cost of caring for your own family — and even caring for yourself. “Caregiver burnout” is real. You cannot do it all. The time has come to adjust your thinking — and Mom’s.
The first thing to realize is that Mom’s constant plea to keep her out of a nursing home probably started at a time when nursing homes were dismal places to live.
That is not true today. Hamilton Grove Healthcare and Rehabilitation Center, in Hamilton, NJ, is an example of the best that a long-term care facility has to offer. We pride ourselves on our luxurious accommodations and hotel-like experience. We have designed a long-term care program that meets the physical, emotional, and social needs of seniors — far better than what seniors can accomplish while living independently. As a senior’s health needs increase, they often reduce their activity level until they are home-bound, a recipe for loneliness and depression. At Hamilton Grove, we worked to maximize every resident’s function and independence in an upbeat, social environment with a wide range of activities for them to choose from.
The essence of Mom’s plea was that she wanted to be loved and well taken care of. Unfortunately, as the day-to-day demands have mounted, your relationship has turned into something based more on physical care than emotional care. By shifting the responsibility for Mom’s physical care to our well-qualified staff, you can regain the emotional bond that was always the bedrock of your relationship. Your time with Mom will once again be spent enjoying each other’s company.
Moreover, you will still be Mom’s caretaker, but your caretaking “tasks” will shift. You can help her decorate her new home. You can help her settle into her new environment and ensure that she is getting the most benefit — and pleasure — out of it. And you can do it without the constant daily pressure that has become your lot, without the burnout.
Do yourself — and Mom — a favor: come visit Hamilton Grove. Call us at 609-588-5800 or click here to schedule a tour. Both you and Mom will see that the nursing home of yesteryear has been replaced by a vibrant, beautiful new home.